Blur/ New Order / Specials / Bombay Bicycle Club closing ceremony gig at Hyde Park

The BT live closing ceremony concert, featuring Blur and New Order.

Hyde Park is a huge venue. It is a park so good weather is a must to ensure a good time. We had won 29 gold medals in the Olympics and it seemed the golden sun came out to celebrate it with us!

We decided to get to Hyde Park early, as we wanted to be near the front and after all I am only 5ft tall! We are glad we did as the ticket had said that gates open at 2.30pm. It was actually 12 noon that they let us in.

We were searched more thoroughly than I have ever been searched before.  The organisation for this event was a right mess, as I had had four different emails from Ticketmaster changing the rules of what is allowed in. Talking to staff on the day, they had no idea of the changes to the rules either so it was really hit or miss if they stopped your stuff coming in. They took off my hand gel as it was in 125ml bottle but as it was not a new bottle would have only contained the 100ml allowed. I didn’t bother to argue as all I could think of was getting to the front. I did see people inside who had cameras longer than 6” (one of the rules). Goodness only knows where they hid their lens!

We ran as fast as we could (the most exercise I had all week!) and got to the metal barrier right at the front of the stage. It was a great crowd and I got talking to a guy who had come from France to see Blur and also a lady from Hong Kong. Blur fans are all over the world!

We had bought the ticket to take my youngest son (15) to see New Order.  (You should hear him play Ceremony on his guitar! He is awesome).  I didn’t know how he would cope with all the waiting as he is the “have it now” generation, but he was great and very excited about it.

We killed the time by watching the Olympics. It was a great atmosphere and everyone was in good spirits.

The first band, Bombay Bicycle club came on at 4.30. I had never heard of them before and I am still not sure about them now I have heard their stuff. Some of their songs just didn’t flow the way a song should. The lead singer looked and sounded like some early 80’s electronic band, while the guitarist (sporting young James May look) seemed more into grunge. What I can say is the girl singer was good and the drummer was awesome!

Next on was New Order. This is what we had come for and boy did we let them know it! We were screaming and shouting and cheering and singing along as loudly as we could. They started with Elegia followed by Crystal. I felt the audience didn’t appreciate Ceremony as much as we did and perhaps it needed more guitars or more New Order fans to really love it.  New Order still miss Hooky (Peter Hook the bassist). Not for the bass essentially, but for his personality. Tom Chapman does a good job, but Barney is not a natural front man (partly why we love him) and Hooky played that part until his departure. Hyde Park is a huge venue and there was a runway off the stage that you know Hooky would have dragged his guitar up and down had he been there.

I personally felt that 586 could have been left at home and replaced with regret. There is a line in regret that goes “You were a perfect stranger, now you are mine” which hubby and I always kiss and have done at each gig since 2006. I don’t think 586 went down well with an audience that isn’t mainly New Order fans.

New Order didn’t need to try too hard with True Faith as the audience (including my new French friend) knew it and sang along. I have always felt that temptation is their “stadium anthem” track and they could do so much more with it (ie get the audience to sing bits of it for you, extending the oooo oooo!) But New Order were on a time limit and had to keep it short. Blue Monday had the crowd going proper crazy. Who doesn’t know that song?! It was more like “The Beach” version for those who really know their New Order but who cares, it was amazing and really got the crowd going. They finished with Love will tear us apart from their Joy Division days. It was so poignant with images of Ian Curtis in the background saying Forever Joy Division. Even after New Order had left the stage, the crowd were still singing it (hoping for an encore that never happened).

We then decided to move back, as my son had seen New Order (and despite my teaching was not as keen on Blur) and was also concerned about 70,000 people squashing us! We went to the Cadburys house to get some free chocolate. (It doesn’t get better than this folks!) But they had closed the house early and although they were giving out the chocolate, it was a missed experience. We sat on our blanket and chilled to The Specials. My best friend from school would have loved this as she was such a Ska rude girl. Although I hadn’t heard some of these songs in years, I still remembered all the words so thanks to Michelle from school for that!

Just before Blur came on we decided to get some chips. At £3 a small box, they were not cheap, but I can officially say they were the WORST chips I have ever had, EVER! Hard inside with a horrid taste on the outside. We all left them.

But time for the main event. We started to watch the closing ceremony at Stratford on the big screens. I was surprised to see people stand up to sing the national anthem. Surprised and proud! British Patriotism lives! We saw Big Ben and Madness sing “Our House” and I did wonder how Blur were going to get people interested if they continued to watch the Stratford show. I needn’t have worried. Park life was faded into the Stratford ceremony and they crowd went crazy as Blur came on stage for real!

I had had reservations about them headlining since The Brits, but these were unfounded. Blur rocked the house! They were awesome, playing an amazing set, and everyone really enjoyed it. It was like one big family with everyone singing and dancing and smiling. Blur rock! Even my son was singing along. Another couple of converts. Let’s hope this isn’t the last we see of Blur.

My photos will be uploaded to www.flickr.com/jasminestormie later this week!

 

TED

TED

In third place for most ridiculous film of the year….(drum roll) is Ted.

Let me first moan about the time frame issue that bugged me throughout the film. John Bennett (played by Mark Wahlberg) is 35 years old. I know this because they tell you so at least twice. So how old was he when the Teddy Bear came to life? The clothes and Star Wars toys suggest late 1970’s. But 2012 minus 35 years is equal to 1977. 1977 IS the year Star Wars came out but that would make John a new born baby, not a child of 8 as portrayed in the movie. They say it is 1985 but were kids still playing Star Wars in 1985? Return  of the Jedi came out in 1983. (For those of you who are not geeks, that is the 3rd Star Wars film to be made, but technically the 6th film).

Who is this film aimed at? It must be those under 30 who would not know that Seth has F**ked up.  How many teenagers seeing this film will even know who Sam Jones is? Flash Gordon was made in 1980! Even Jonny (Ted's owner) would have trouble remembering that long ago!

So what else is wrong with it? Well it is very basic humour in places. Do you really need to say “There is a Shit on my floor!” to get a laugh? (I didn’t laugh). But I did laugh in places those under 30’s didn’t. (Loved Ted’s interpretation of Pink Floyds “If ya don’t eat ya meat” line.)

Patrick Stewart is the narrator and some of it is excellent, some of it tries too hard. Patrick is too good for this kind of film! Beam him up already!!

Getting past all that, you start to believe Ted is a real character with a life of his own. The effects are so good you stop thinking about how they are doing it. There are some classic funny moments (The Thunder buddies song is a cult waiting to happen) and it is predictably a love story.

Hot Mila Kunis (That is her full name) plays Lori, John’s girlfriend of four years. She wants their relationship to move forward but feels Ted is holding John back. Ted takes a lot of drugs, drink, swears and has sex a lot for a 15 rated movie.  All those 15 year old going to see it will think that it is cool to do those things. There is no moral to the story regarding drugs here.

My favourite bits: The Thunder song, the joke about Hasbro, anything with Flash Gordon in it, the theme tune from Star Wars being suggested it was from the Notebook, all the famous people playing themselves …well there are many.

Verdict: tries really hard to be funny and is excellent in places, but could do better.

The Dark Knight Rises

I was hesitant about going to the cinema to see this film just in case some maniac did a copycat killing of the terrible tragedy that happened in the US this week.

But we shouldn’t let this stop us living our lives (We still fly on planes don’t we?) so I went to see this film anyway.

I think even if you had not seen the other Batman films this film is entertaining as a stand-alone film. It is very watchable and the special effects in the action scenes are really good.

I liked Bane as the villain. He had almost a Mad Max out-and-out violence about him. (Why do most villains have an English accent?)  He is played by Tom Hardy, and is almost unrecognisable from his character in “This means War”. (The sign of an adaptable Actor).

I am not a fan of Christian Bale. However he does do the part of Bruce Wayne justice and I love the interaction scenes with him and Alfred (played by the legendary Michael Caine).  

Anne Hathaway is Selina (but some would say she is Batgirl!). I was unsure about her for the role after her disastrous role in “One Day” but she was great in the part and had a kick-ass outfit!

The unsung hero of the film is Blake (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who is a cop trying to keep the peace in Gotham with no Batman to back him up.

Some of this film feels very predictable (when you watch it you will know what I mean).

The real star of this film is the gadgets. I love the bike. (Bat-Bike?) and how its wheels move when changing direction. (My next birthday present perhaps?!). The “Flying Bat” is also way cool and I love all the tech in the Batcave.

I am glad it is not too dark. I have a strong love of the 60’s series and film starring Bruce Ward and Adam West, and part of me pines for those fun Batman days. Holy Retro Batman!

Verdict: If you have three hours to spare, give it a go. It is worth the investment! Kapow!

Me and my New Bike! ;)

Magic Mike

Magic Mike

Do ya wanna see some fit naked bodies? Lots of male flesh? Do you think Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer are sexy? I can’t hear you! YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then this film is a must see! I loved loved loved it. I need to state I have never paid to go to see strippers (although I did see The Dreamboys at Erotica once, but that is another story!) and I would not be comfortable having someone grind in my face, but on screen we know that isn’t going to happen so bring it on!

Channing plays Mike, this lovely guy who has his hand in many businesses trying to make a living and one way to earn easy money is to strip. He meets Adam (The Kid) and by fluke Adam ends up stripping on his first night. Adam has a rather pretty sister who Mike obviously likes but still is partying hard.

We all know where this film is going. There isn’t really a strong story but honestly, who cares? There is a LOT of naked flesh on screen and that is good enough for me. In fact, the brilliance of this film is it has real magic. It makes you want to watch it again and again, which for any film company is the real magic of cinema.

Verdict: Forget fifty shades – get a bunch of your girlfriends together (Men should be left out of this one) and get your ass to the cinema pronto!

Fifty shades of grey

Fifty shades of Grey 

I don’t normally do book reviews but this is an exception. This book is the fastest selling book ever! Yes even poor Harry Potter would blush at this one!

The book is about a girl called Ana Steele who meets a millionaire called Christian Grey.  She is a virgin and he is into a bit of S&M. I don’t just mean light spanking here…he has submissives and a whole room of gadgets and wants Ana to become a submissive too.

Well that is the premise of the book. You know that anyone who buys it is only after the juicy bits..so how juicy are they? (you ask)…(I hope you ask as I am about to tell you)…

They are ok.  They are descriptive and erm..a bit frustrating and I don’t mean in a good way. What is so wrong with this book is it is written as if it was set in Victorian times. The language is ridiculous. Ana never talks about what she calls her private parts…it is always “down there” or “my sex”. This really does take away from the eroticisms. I don’t have an answer about what EL James should call it. But if she mutters “Oh my” one more time, I will burn the book!

I also have issues with how many ways you can say “Said”. EL James rarely uses the word.  They whisper, wryly mutters, smiles, grumbles, gasps, mutters dryly, grins, splutters, implores…almost any word but said. It is VERY annoying.  It goes on further...When she said “He knits his brow” I imagined him with needles and some wool!

Christian Grey’s eyes are often looking at Ana  “Darkly”. How? What does that mean exactly? I really hate the extended descriptive language (on the bits that are not juicy).

Ana is a virgin, but is still a young lady in her 20’s. I really find it hard to believe that she would be so innocent. In England we have Channel 4 to educate us. I am sure there must be an American equivalent.  And if not, there is always the internet and her friend to have chatted with about this before she met him.  Ana also gives men the idea that women prefer penetrative sex to foreplay. This is simply not true. Women love receiving foreplay.  (lots of it for long periods of time please!)Maybe this is her innocence shining through. 

The story itself is really boring and drags on.  EL James has left the end of this book open so you have to buy all three to know what happens. (I am almost finished the second book now).

I have heard it is to be made into a film. Huge mistake for two reasons. Firstly, besides Ana Steele, no-one is going to find anyone with ginger hair attractive. (Ok, a bit harsh..but please tell me she is not impressed with his money – She is more of a WAG than we give credit for!)

Secondly, women like this book and others like it because it lets their imagination take over. The film (unless it becomes a soft porn film) will never live up to the expectations of a woman’s imagination.  Can’t you make the second “shopaholic” film instead? Women love shopping more than “Oh My”.

PS: Men if you lady is reading this book, she may well be game for some role play!

The Five Year Engagement

The Five Year Engagement

I was not planning to see this film. I had planned to see Killer Joe but the times were difficult so I chose this as a last minute choice.

I LOVE EMILY BLUNT!! She is a fabulous actress and really has the Midas touch with films as this could have been an average rom-com without her. She is so watchable.

This film is more than a rom-com. It is more of a com-rom. It was very funny and had the audience laughing out loud.  Yes a real life LOL moment!

Tom and Violet knew they loved each other the first time they met. But then real life gets in the way and even after five years they are still not married.

The Chemistry between Blunt and Segal (who also wrote it) is fantastic. You really do feel they are in love.

I had a five year engagement myself and married my husband five years to the day we met, so I know about all the planning and waiting and other issues getting in the way.

Verdict:  I expected an average rom-com. I got so much more than I bargained for.

Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages 

I don’t know where to start with this one! I thought Abraham Lincoln- Vampire Hunter had already won the trophy for most ridiculous film of the year, but Rock of Ages is a strong contender!

If you like rock – you will hate this! If you like real music – you will hate this! If you liked Burlesque and Moulin Rouge you will probably love this.

REO Speedwagon must be laughing all the way to the bank!

It is a simple  story set in 1987 - girl goes to big city and falls in love ..blah…blah…blah. But set in a rock club in LA. Everyone in the film can hold a tune (which is a step up from Mamma Mia) but the script is dire. And Americans just don’t know how to do 80’s properly!  Sherrie’s hair is all wrong – it needs to be much much bigger than it is (and it is way to styled – this was before the invention of frizz ease!)

Alex Baldwin is a great actor and even he kept a straight face when he has to pretend he is a gay rocker who falls in love with Russell Brand.  I have never met any gay rockers – never mind gay rockers who own a huge rock club and look like hard men. (I am not saying they don’t exist – but I never met one).

Can it get any more ridiculous, I hear you say? Well frankly yes!!  Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like posh spice in the end of the film (keep an eye out or you will miss her!)

And I don’t remember pole dancing bars in the 80’s. Maybe I lead an innocent life…

I know it is supposed to be funny – but it is more laughing at anyone who was a rocker rather than laughing with them. It feels like a cruel joke.

The saving grace of this film is I rather fancy Tom Cruise in it. He is excellent as Stacee Jaxx and I found him rather attractive. I haven’t been able to say that since Top Gun.

Verdict: This is karaoke rock. Do ya really wanna rock??!!!!

By the way: this is how I looked in the 80's. The black was homage to Siouxsie Sioux and the photo with the hideous yellow shirt is an example of my big hair!!