I don’t normally do book reviews but this is an exception.
This book is the fastest selling book ever! Yes even poor Harry Potter would
blush at this one!
The book is about a girl called Ana Steele who meets a
millionaire called Christian Grey. She
is a virgin and he is into a bit of S&M. I don’t just mean light spanking
here…he has submissives and a whole room of gadgets and wants Ana to become a submissive too.
Well that is the premise of the book. You know that anyone
who buys it is only after the juicy bits..so how juicy are they? (you ask)…(I
hope you ask as I am about to tell you)…
They are ok. They are
descriptive and erm..a bit frustrating and I don’t mean in a good way. What is
so wrong with this book is it is written as if it was set in Victorian times.
The language is ridiculous. Ana never talks about what she calls her private
parts…it is always “down there” or “my sex”. This really does take away from
the eroticisms. I don’t have an answer about what EL James should call it. But
if she mutters “Oh my” one more time, I will burn the book!
I also have issues with how many ways you can say “Said”. EL
James rarely uses the word. They
whisper, wryly mutters, smiles, grumbles, gasps, mutters dryly, grins,
splutters, implores…almost any word but said. It is VERY annoying. It goes on further...When she said “He knits his brow” I imagined him with
needles and some wool!
Christian Grey’s eyes are often looking at Ana “Darkly”. How? What does that mean exactly? I
really hate the extended descriptive language (on the bits that are not juicy).
Ana is a virgin, but is still a young lady in her 20’s. I
really find it hard to believe that she would be so innocent. In England we
have Channel 4 to educate us. I am sure there must be an American equivalent. And if not, there is always the internet and
her friend to have chatted with about this before she met him. Ana also gives men the idea that women prefer
penetrative sex to foreplay. This is simply not true. Women love receiving
foreplay. (lots of it for long periods of time please!)Maybe this is her innocence shining
through.
The story itself is really boring and drags on. EL James has left the end of this book open so
you have to buy all three to know what happens. (I am almost finished the
second book now).
I have heard it is to be made into a film. Huge mistake for
two reasons. Firstly, besides Ana Steele, no-one is going to find anyone with
ginger hair attractive. (Ok, a bit harsh..but please tell me she is not
impressed with his money – She is more of a WAG than we give credit for!)
Secondly, women like this book and others like it because it
lets their imagination take over. The film (unless it becomes a soft porn film)
will never live up to the expectations of a woman’s imagination. Can’t you make the second “shopaholic” film instead?
Women love shopping more than “Oh My”.
PS: Men if you lady is reading this book, she may well be
game for some role play!
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